I’m angry, actually I’m more than angry, I’m pissed off. I am near furious at this point and I can’t help it, I can’t stop it and I can’t control it. I am so damn tired of being in pain all the time and nobody seems to want to do anything about it. I’m tired of never having any help except when I ask for it, it would be nice for someone to volunteer every once in a while to take some of this burden off of me.
I need a life outside of this fucking house, even a little bit of one would be good enough for me but no, that isn’t for me. I have spent this whole damn summer inside this house, I haven’t been able to do anything, go anywhere or just fucking live.
My anxiety level has been running in overdrive for the last several weeks, I can’t get any peace at all and I’m just tired of it. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get and my heart can’t take much more pressure, I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack at any moment and things just keep coming at me nonstop.
It’s always something, but I can’t give up or give in. If it kills me then it just fucking kills me.
Enough said for now ……